what to do when you’re feeling off

how to create an upwards spiral

art by Francine Van Hove

Whenever I am not writing, it feels so excruciatingly hard to write.

Then, whenever I start writing again, I’m like: what was I ever afraid of? This is so EASY!

I find this phenomenon quite funny, as well as informative, about how we trip over ourselves and get in our way unnecessarily.

If there is anything I have learned from trying to actualize my ideas—tugging at the stream of consciousness that stews in my mind, fluid and elusive, and turning it into something tangible, with legs—it’s that it takes focus to take action, to clarify what you are thinking about and what you want to do with it.

But rarely, if ever, is there a real lack of creativity in me. It is more that there are layers and layers of cobwebs, of blocks, that are keeping me from seeing, from noticing, what is there waiting to be seen.

I like writing. It is deeply rewarding, clarifying, and liberating to look at your thoughts as something external to you, to not get caught up in the thought swirls that attempt to separate you from your center, that try to convince you that you have nothing say, no ideas to share.

I rarely, if ever, find this to actually be true. Usually, I am just distracted or being a little self-absorbed, wallowing in whatever self-consciousness or insecurities are keeping me from seeing what I am capable of doing.

The lesson I am taking away from de-bugging this pattern may not be that deep or profound, but remains one of the most critical ones I have discovered: to simply show up to the acts that make you feel better, even when you feel like you will have nothing to do when you show up.

Simply doing the Right Things that you know will make you feel better consistently stifles a low-agency spiral, where you feel like a victim of your own state, your own mood, unable to control where you direct your attention.

As I recently wrote in this note, this requires you to do the things that will make you feel better before you actually feel better…

This is very critical to understand: to create an upwards spiral, you must act in opposition to what your low mood wants you to do.

This means sitting down to write even if you think you have nothing to say.

Going to the gym even if you don’t feel like you have the energy to work out.

Going outside for a walk when you feel like staying in bed.

Creating something with your hands, when all you want to do is stare at a screen and melt your brain with stimulus.

You need to rise up against the impulses that want to pull you lower.

This is how we re-establish agency, will and momentum. This is how we actually create things, instead of just thinking about creating things.

At least, this is what I am practicing lately. I am trying to use any time I feel off-center to actually oppose my instincts, and bring myself back to where I want to be by doing the Right Things that I know will make me feel better, even if they don’t feel like they are going to help me in that moment.

In case you feel called to a similar aim, here are some things that have been guiding me “back towards the light” when I feel off…

things that make life feel Colourful again when I feel Off

• Making my home more beautiful (cleaning, buying flowers, rearranging things, getting something new that brings beauty to the space)

• Going on a walk without a phone (listening to the birds, literally stopping to smell and look at all the interesting flowers, focusing on my breath, smiling at strangers)

• Sitting in the park (bringing a simple blanket, a book or journal, maybe a craft and a beverage - and having an evening or afternoon full of grounding, delight and wonder)

• Making a vision board (via pinterest, or if you enjoy using your hands like me, hit the nearest crafts store to get scissors, glue, stickers, a piece of paper and some magazines of choice on the way home and synthesize a cluster of what feels resonant to you right now on that page in whatever way feels most fun, true, effortless)

• Stretch, move, use your body in some sort of gentle, exertive way

• Call a friend or loved one (gets you out of your head, you can talk about nothing at all and still feel better!)

• READING (it is so so so much more healing to read a book than scroll in our phones, gosh it is painful how true this is.)

• Physical touch (hug someone you love!!!)

• Bake or cook something delicious and creative (I always bake to ground myself; I like the slowness of it, the attention it takes, and the wonderful products that come from the act)

• Make a plan for something you can look forward to (a weekend trip, or even a simple walk or plan to get a meal with a close friend can spark a little bit of hope and gentle action-taking back into your system)

• Comforting music (I love this, this and this YouTube channel when I want something playful, healing and grounding on in the background)

• Light candles, incense, create a viiibe in your home (it’s so satisfying to wind down intentionally and just create a delightful experience for fun)

• Sauna! (heat melts away our problems, it seems.)

• Drink water (it can never hurt!)

• Take a deep breath, give yourself a break, know it’ll pass, and let go of the attachment to being productive or letting yourself feel like you’re behind. Hint: indulging in these thoughts usually makes things worse, not better!

Let’s build this list out together: What makes you feel better when you forget that you are a powerful being with the agency to help yourself?

1:1 Coaching Summer Openings

I have a few 1:1 Clarity Coaching spots opening up over the summer. If you have been wanting to identify what feels true to you and begin building your life around your authentic desires, now is a great time to apply to work with me 1:1. This is a 12-week engagement where we will meet weekly to unearth insights from your unconscious and integrate them into your life through conscious reflection and action, creating upwards momentum (or: upwards spirals!) towards the life you genuinely want to be living.

You can also now book a Single Clarity Session directly through my site. This is a 75-minute 1:1 session where we transmute psychic fog into inner-clarity by identifying what you truly want, addressing any blocks that may be stifling you from taking action, and outlining a clear plan of action for you to integrate after the session. You can book a Single Clarity Session here.

Get out of your way & start acting on your ideas with my 6-week creativity course:

If you want to express yourself freely and tap into the infinite well of ideas just waiting to come to life inside of you, drop your email here and I will share more about Creative Liberation, a 6-week journey of identifying your natural gifts and unlocking your unique creative intelligence. The course includes 6 recorded lessons lead by me and weekly integration exercises and prompts to keep you oriented towards your creative aims. You will develop a fluency in your inner world that helps you face your creative resistance when it arises, and finish the projects you start, sharing them with the world without fear. You can enroll in Creative Liberation here.

To dive deeper into your inner world by cultivating your own writing practice, sign up here to get my free daily journalling guide.

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A big theme on my mind lately is shifting our inner-state through practical action. I am currently writing a piece exploring doubt and how to invert it into thoughts that orient you optimistically in the world… Subscribe or upgrade to get it when it’s live:

related essays you may enjoy: just show up, don’t let your ideas rot, forward momentum, how to get out of a funk, to be creative, be where you are, one thing at a time.

Follow me on Twitter & TikTok for my daily streams of consciousness. Thanks for reading! Let me know what this piece brought up for you in the comments. See you back here soon.