Yes I really agree that people reach a point where they can’t go any further in loving or being loved. My father is an amazing example; he had four wives. All of them lasted exactly nine years. Apparently that was his consistent limit, he could go that far and no farther.
It’s interesting people who marry many times...it shows they really hope for love...they keep trying even after multiple failures.
Witnessing this as a child and then a young adult in my father was a big part of my lifelong attempt to try to understand love and experience it, and write about it.
I think this piece is a beautiful reflection on what people mean when they say that finding your person begins with understanding yourself. It touches on something that often goes unspoken: love and relationships can act like mirrors, illuminating parts of ourselves we’d rather keep hidden.
Reading it made me think of my own essay, Love Is Not Enough, because both pieces point toward the same idea: love isn’t static. It takes work, curiosity, and a willingness to keep growing. As individuals evolve, relationships ask us to stay open to being witnessed through those changes, and that is frightening.
For a long time, I was afraid of someone seeing my shadows. Now I think I’m more afraid of not being met in my depth. There’s so much to fear in love when we truly open ourselves to it.
This piece comforts me. Romantic love is tricky (impossible?) to pin down, and I'm impressed with your ability to probe it. What are the things you keep hidden from those close to you? is a question I must now ponder... glad I stumbled upon your work here
Yes I really agree that people reach a point where they can’t go any further in loving or being loved. My father is an amazing example; he had four wives. All of them lasted exactly nine years. Apparently that was his consistent limit, he could go that far and no farther.
It’s interesting people who marry many times...it shows they really hope for love...they keep trying even after multiple failures.
Witnessing this as a child and then a young adult in my father was a big part of my lifelong attempt to try to understand love and experience it, and write about it.
Reading this made me cry because of how wonderfully you described love. Thank you for your writing
This was a great piece! So much to reflect on
I wish I found this 40 years ago! It needs to be shared with youth just learning about loving relationships!
Such a beautiful and timely piece. Timely for me personally ☺️
Loved this so much Isabel <3
Resonated a lot with me
I think this piece is a beautiful reflection on what people mean when they say that finding your person begins with understanding yourself. It touches on something that often goes unspoken: love and relationships can act like mirrors, illuminating parts of ourselves we’d rather keep hidden.
Reading it made me think of my own essay, Love Is Not Enough, because both pieces point toward the same idea: love isn’t static. It takes work, curiosity, and a willingness to keep growing. As individuals evolve, relationships ask us to stay open to being witnessed through those changes, and that is frightening.
For a long time, I was afraid of someone seeing my shadows. Now I think I’m more afraid of not being met in my depth. There’s so much to fear in love when we truly open ourselves to it.
what a beautiful punch in the guts!
This piece comforts me. Romantic love is tricky (impossible?) to pin down, and I'm impressed with your ability to probe it. What are the things you keep hidden from those close to you? is a question I must now ponder... glad I stumbled upon your work here
Very interesting take..good job
Keep writing...
amazing... on loving myself henceforth
This is so great Isabel, I haven't felt this in a long long time.