Life gets abundant when you stop trying to control it
When you stop forcing things, you make space for what's already unfolding
The only content I want to consume lately are the youtube videos of an audacious, grounded, creative young woman named Isabel Paige. Her youtube videos document her life living in the mountains, where she plants and harvests most of her own food, sews her own clothes, bakes abundant amounts of bread, desserts and other delicious goods, and ultimately just lives life on her own terms. The magic in her process, I believe, is multi-pronged. One: she is clearly, unapologetically devoted to the art of story telling and filmmaking. Her process is her craft. She seeks to learn and improve, and as a result, not only has her content radically improved in quality over the years to the point that it feels so effortless that it is completely intoxicating, but it has allowed her to grow so easeful in her creation, with so little effort-ing still present in her work, that it has come to feel like you are just watching someone exist in their beautiful, magical life, that you feel lucky to have the privilege of peering into.
art is about allowing
This process of existing she brings you into is so creative. There is no tension between her and her process. She has allowed her becoming, her own self-discovery and curiosity be the compass for her art. This is, I believe, exactly what makes great art: expressing oneself so fully that there is no trace of ego in the creation. No agenda or desired imprint on the viewer, just a truthful offering, available to be perceived however the viewer may interpret it. That’s what art is about: allowing the process to flow through you naturally, instead of attempting to force something you wish was there.
When I watch her older videos—it is very subtle—but I can detect the effort. I can detect the way she was learning how to be herself. And to follow the journey of someone who has remained so consistent, so devoted to her process, and to see her step into herself and allow who she already was to simply emerge through her art, is one of the most wonderful and expansive things I’ve ever found on the internet.
cyclicality
Another beautiful feature of her work is how in sync she is with nature, both as a function of her lifestyle (she lives deep in the heart of the mountains, an hour drive away from the town and three hours away from a big city), and is thus forced to face the limitations, cycles, and rhythms of nature each day in order to simply meet her needs.
But as a result, she has such a reverence for nature. Such a sensitivity to the way things move, grow, change, evolve, bloom, die, become. And as someone who lives most of their time in the city, with only some exposure to the deep, rhythmic cycles alive in nature at all times, it is such a joy to see what embracing these cycles fully looks and feels like.
we are nature, too
It helps to remember that we are also nature (see this video at 11:12). Spending enough time in nature reminds us of this. We also move rhythmically. We must also allow what is inside of us to bloom and die and be reborn, over and over, or else we distress ourselves, make ourselves sick, we refuse to let what is, simply be. But when we are in cities, when we are on the internet, both of which feel like they are ‘on’ 24/7, we forget what these cycles look like, we forget that we need to rest as much as we need to exert, we forget to surrender to the cycles of nature that pulse inside of us, too.
In the modern world, we make so many of our basic rhythms wrong. We spend so much time judging ourselves for simply being. For having the needs of fleshy, somatic humans in alive, evolving bodies. We expect ourselves to be on all the time—like the cities, like the internet, like the screens. Then, when we want to create or do something artistic, we want that to happen instantly as well. We want everything to be instant. We want action to be instant, producing results that are instant. We want to then be able to rest instantly, be rejuvenated instantly, and get ready to act again, instantly! We want inspiration to strike instantly, so we can create instantly, put it out there instantly, get validation instantly, and repeat the process. Instantly, on demand, as we so wish and please.
life takes time
But this is not how life works, it is not how we unfold, how creations get made. Look at nature. Really look at nature; it is -2 degrees celsius out where I am, and it’s about to be April. Nature has been in the void of winter for about five months now here. I know that blooming does not happen instantly, because I look outside and am reminded of it every day. Rebirth does not happen instantly. The flowers do not bud, bloom or grow wild instantly. It takes time! Time. It all takes time. It takes time to come alive again, and to become full in the expression of your beauty and life force.
When something stops, dies, pauses — whether that is literally winding down from a day of work, or leaving a job, relationship, or chapter of your life that no longer needs you—that you no longer need—the thing to do is to let what is no longer aligned die off. Let it lay. Allow it to wither and dissolve, to not rush the process, to not force this part of the cycle away, to not instantly rush into the next phase, begging new life to rush in so you do not need to experience the discomfort or grief of loss, of stillness, of the gap between things you want arriving. You cannot force nature, just as you cannot force becoming, and you cannot force life to emerge when it is not yet ready (and why would you want to? It’s far less interesting when everything happens exactly at the time we want it to.)
The beautiful thing I have found in Isabel Paige’s work is that you can see the fruits of this patient blossoming in her life over time. She has been posting her videos for 6 years. She has become proficient in so many crafts that take months and years to master. She has used the money she saved up from growing her audience on YouTube to build her dream home, to honour the visions she has cultivated as she has gotten to know herself deeper and developed her taste more fully. She now plans to open a bakery to share her amazing creations with others. She is writing books. She is, definitionally, on her own path. She does not look around (there aren’t many people to look at where she is!), and she has graced us all with the privilege of peering into her uniquely creative, organic, cyclical life.
The comments on her YouTube, which I eventually learned she does not read to protect her psyche from external opinions, are gushing with appreciation and freudenfreude for all of her success. She reaches the elderly, the youth, and everyone in between. She has inspired the masses, literally, to live in a completely different way than others do. And she has done all this by staying in her own lane, on her own path, chasing her own dreams.
I will occasionally get messages, reflecting back to me how what I have chosen to do, and the ways in which I have shared my learnings and journey on here have inspired someone to do the same, or has helped someone build up the courage and humility to even realize they want to. Above everything else that has come from my choices, I believe these messages are the greatest signs of affirmation that I am on the right path. When your mere existence and your willingness to share it inspires someone to meet themselves deeper, to express themselves more fully, and to pursue what they truly want, that is quite possibly the most expansive reflection that it feels like one, or at least I, could receive.
There is so much angst in the air these days; about timing, about the sInGuLaRiTy, about all of these things that make it feel like the power of your life is located externally to you, when in reality, the engine of your life remains inside of you, always inside of you. And the most abundant, generative thing in the world that you can do is be true to yourself, act on your inclinations, let your mind be quiet, stow yourself away from the constant noise and stimulus trying to push its way into your consciousness, and to remember that there is time. There is time to be who you are, follow your path, stop judging yourself, and let what is in you come through you… It’s all inside of you, moving at the patient, non-instant, cyclical rhythms of nature. And if it feels like ‘nothing is happening’, remember that you can also embrace and enjoy the void. Don’t force things to come through you just because it would make you feel accomplished. It’s okay to welcome an inner winter in yourself from time to time, to let nothing happen for a while, to let what needs to gently die off, to allow your energy to slowly flow towards something new, to rest, regenerate, nurture, cultivate, tidy up, and release the pressure for outcomes.
When we’re in month five of winter and it still looks like nothing is happening, the trees and plants and blooms are getting started underneath the surface, ready to burst back to life when the right conditions appear.
slowly, then all at once
Our own cycles behave the same; have you ever heard the quote ‘things happen slowly, then all a once?’ When it looks like nothing is growing, that is when it is most essential to keep the faith, to listen to what is happening inside of us, and to simply allow our magic to flow through us without force. That is when things unfold in what feel like surprisingly abundant and easeful ways. But the first step is trust; without it, the natural process gets interrupted, and we find ourselves constantly forcing, effort-ing, trying to will something into existence — just to leave us feeling stuck and dissatisfied.
On the other side of letting go of the need for everything to happen exactly the way we want it to, exactly when we want it to, we make the space to allow what is naturally emerging to blossom in our lives, and to wrap us in beauty and abundance we could not force into existence, no matter how hard we tried.
I’m taking on two 1:1 coaching clients in April—If you’re looking to balance surrender, action, creation and patience, while finding the right avenues for your skills and creativity, apply to work with me here. I primarily work with self-aware, driven executives, creatives, artists and skilled professionals who seek to clarify what they want and actualize their desires with ease.
1:1 Coaching Structure:
Weekly 1:1 sessions to reveal clarity and dissolve blocks preventing action (or necessary rest).
Integration assignments to consciously weave insights into your life.
Async support to maintain accountability and structure between sessions.
If this resonates, apply below, and I will reach out if there could be a fit.
Related essays you may enjoy:
Resources: Daily Journalling Guide, Masculine Archetypes Summarized, Creativity workshop
You don’t know how much I needed this reminder to let life flow naturally but also with intentionality - thank you
beautifully written